Advice to a 19 Year Old

I recently read this blog post which made me laugh really hard.. mostly because it described me to a "T" around the age of 21.  If you're not aware, I have actually been engaged twice-- once, of course, to my wonderful husband of 7 years, and once to.. someone else.  I'm not going to go into it, and I wish nothing but the best for that person, but to make a long story short-- it was a terrible decision, and we would have BOTH been miserable, and ending the engagement was one of the best things we could have ever done.  Anyway, I was reflecting on who I was THEN, when I got engaged at the ripe old age of 19, and who I am NOW, 10 years later at age 29.  If I could whisper in the ear of my 19-year-old self, and give her a little advice, I would say the following:

Summer 2003! Left to right:
Me, Trisha, Erin, Gretchen, Stace
All beautiful sisters in the Lord, all still friends of mine today

*If you feel, in your gut, that it's wrong-- it is.  I love reading advice columns ("Dear Prudie" is always interesting...) mostly because, on the outside, it is pretty obvious what the person is asking for-- permission and/or absolution.  Many of us know what the right thing to do is when faced with decisions, and yet we waver, I believe, because of our inherent sin nature.  James 4:17 makes it pretty clear: "Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is a sin."  Whether we knew we were wrong getting into the situation in the first place and don't want to deal with the consequences, or we suddenly have to do something very difficult and are trying to avoid getting hurt or hurting someone else.  Doing hard things has become a mantra of mine for this very reason-- I used to ignore or put off making a decision if it was going to be hard.  But trust me, the longer you put it off, the harder it gets for everyone involved.

*Don't buy that Ashlee Simpson CD.  Not only is it terrible, but CDs will be obsolete in about 10 years. And then you will be ashamed that you ever owned such a CD.

*It's okay to feel lonely.  Feeling this way is what draws you to the ONLY ONE who will never leave you or forsake you: Jesus (Deuteronomy 31:6) Stop trying to cling to people and relationships that are unhealthy just because you're scared to be alone-- God is giving you this opportunity to learn to lean into and trust in Him completely.

*When you pray, listen.  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, "Rejoice evermore; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."  Pray unceasingly and yes, ask God for the things you (think) you want and need, but mostly, concern yourself with listening and obeying what He tells you.  I have never audibly heard the voice of the Lord, but I *have* heard His voice. Being in the Word is so crucial-- much more so than having a date tomorrow night or getting an A on that project that's due next week.

Si and I at an ISU football game--
Almost exactly 10 years after the top picture was
taken! How time flies, and things change, PTL!

*Shovel the driveway when it snows, and don't use it as a trump card when you get into an argument with your roommates.

*10 years seems like forever.  Right now, it's MORE than half your life.  But trust me when I say that the next 10 years will fly like you can't believe.  Use these 10 years wisely-- trust the Lord, listen to Him, and be patient.  His plan and will for your life is so much more than you can imagine-- some incredibly hard, hurtful times, yes, but these times will draw you near to Him and you will learn to praise Him in all circumstances.

*Last, but certainly not least-- just so you know, the toilet in the basement is actually NOT a black toilet, it is white, and it needs cleaning.