Foreverandever... and ever, and ever, and ever

 Hey look! It's David Crowder!

My son has a "special song." He requests it every time we get in the car, and as soon as it's over he requests it again. As far as "special songs" go, he could have definitely picked a worse one: David Crowder Band's Foreverandever Etc.

I have probably heard this song no less than a thousand times in the last month. At the beginning of the song, there's a short whistling solo, and as soon as Silas hears it, his eyes light up and his little fingers go in the air (he has this weird dance move that involves pointing his index fingers in the air simultaneously, he got it from his Papa Tom) and he does his best to sing along (it's kind of fast so he really only knows the chorus).  It's so ridiculously adorable I can hardly stand it. 

And seriously, I can hardly stand it.

Yesterday we drove to the ENT, Donutland, and then to a park for a playdate before heading home.  We were probably in the car for 90 minutes.  The song is a little over 3 minutes long, so I estimate that yesterday I heard it approximately 28 times.  I am not kidding. 

Now, don't get me wrong-- I love David Crowder and his now defunct band.  I am what you could call a David Crowder fanatic.  Silas and Oliver both heard DCB music almost exclusively before they were born, and anytime I can't find anything on the radio I like (which is often) I almost always turn on DCB.  My very favorite songs (How He Loves, Thank You for Hearing Me-- a Sinead O'Connor cover, weirdly enough, and pretty much any hymn) are by DCB.  I think his lyrics are Biblically-based and spiritual, I think he is an amazing musician, and I even love his slightly-crazed-Hassidic-Jew-with-a-fro look he's got going on.  You can just tell the dude really doesn't care what anyone thinks, except Jesus.  I've seen him in concert 3 times and I love how the concerts are really, truly worship music-- there's very little stage production and pageantry is pretty much non-existent.  I am so, so glad that my kids dig DCB.

And I am so, so ready to move on to another song. 

However, on the way home yesterday, as I tried to shut the music off and just have some blessed silence for once while telling Silas the music needed to rest (I'm sure the CD is perilously close to death) as he yelled "SPECIAL SONG! MY SPECIAL SONG!!" at the top of his lungs, I sighed and hit the back button on my CD player to start the song over again.  I'm sure it was number 26 or 27, but for the first time that day I actually listened to the lyrics:

I'm finding everything I'll ever need
By giving up, gaining everything
Falling for You for eternity
Right here at Your feet, where I want to be
I am Yours

I have heard these words a million, gazillion, fafillion (to quote Ludacris) times, and they have spoken to me before. This time, however, God used them to remind me of Matthew 16:24-26: "Then Jesus said to His disciples, 'If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?'" (Have you ever read a blog that cites the Bible and Ludacris in the same paragraph? I bet not.) 

Sometimes I lose sight of the big picture-- I get caught up in ideas and plans and earthly, worldly stuff.  My latest obsession has been my future master suite addition (poor hubby).  I scour Pinterest and watch HGTV on the treadmill and dream of winning Publisher's Clearinghouse so I can add a ridiculous master suite onto my 125 year old farmhouse.  I think about my kids and their future-- what will we do for school? Am I qualified and able to homeschool? How will we afford college for them? (We won't, all that money is going to my master suite.  Just kidding.  Maybe.) I think about my husband and how hard he works and worry that he's not wearing sunscreen and he's going to get melanoma on his nose.

I'm finding everything I'll ever need

All of these things are fine and some are even good to ponder.  Planning and dreaming and working hard is fantastic, but it's all for naught if we lose sight of WHAT and WHO we're working for.  Yes, I do the things I do for my family.  But more important, I need to do them for Jesus.  I need to give up each of my tasks, ideas, plans, and dreams to Jesus.  That means everything-- my hopes and expectations for my kids.  My ideas and plans for myself.  And that can be really, really hard.  What if it's not God's plan that we have more children? What if it's God's plan that we leave this home that I dearly, dearly love and move somewhere far away from friends and family and our amazing church?

By giving up gaining everything

Maybe I'm hearing this song for infinity and beyond because God is trying to punch me in the face with the idea that I am not trusting him with EVERYTHING, big and small. I'm a DIY type of gal, and that can be really hard for me.  But I do believe in God's word and I do believe he's working all things together for good.  I suppose this will be an ongoing challenge for me. 

Falling for you for eternity

Right here at your feet

Where I want to be

I suppose that means we're not quite done with the special song...

I am Yours

Here's a link to a video of DCB performing said song live.  It's a little shaky but you can still hear it.  Also, he's playing a keytar, which is awesome.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_q_5oEKE-Nw