Never Say Never

I've been told that "Never Say Never" is the motto of one Justin Bieber.  However, I'm more familiar with the phrase thanks to the Neverland Pirate Band.

 A couple of weeks ago, I bribed enticed encouraged my husband to do something he swore up and down he'd never do-- run a road race with me.  It was a lot of fun, even he agrees, but it got me thinking about things that I just KNEW I'd never do before I had kids that are now every-day occurrences for me.  Here is a list of things that I have actually done after having children.  Be warned, this is the truth, which is sometimes not pretty.

1. Forget to change the sheets that my water broke on.
2. Sleep on said sheets for approximately six weeks.
3. Breast-feed, uncovered, in front of numerous unknown people, not because I don't value modesty blah blah blah, but because I forgot my cover and decided I didn't care.
4. Have a colonoscopy and have no problems talking about it with people I do as well as do not know.
5. Forget that I left the TV on E! after watching a Katy Perry special (not even a fan) and realize 20 minutes later that my 3 year old is watching an episode of Sex and the City.
6. Very loudly discuss luteal phase defects and implantation bleeding at Olive Garden in front of our 18 year old male waiter.
7. Go out in public with urine and spit-up (also known as vomit) on my clothing.
8. Know about urine and spit-up before I leave and decide changing clothes is too much work.
9. Get a little addicted to the Wendy Williams show when Silas was a newborn and we didn't have cable.
10. Wear leggings as pants, see #8.

Just to tempt fate, I'm now going to include a short list of things I am 100% I will never, ever, EVER do in the future.
1. Eat my own placenta.

Happy Parenting!

This is a picture of Silas and I at the Freedom Fest Balloon Glow.

As you can tell, he is in the process of picking his nose.

Which he then wiped on me.